Insults only a law student would use.

Your mother's so fat she holds a joint tenancy by herself.

Your mother's so fat her manufacturer was strictly liable for not making her beep when backing up.

You're so old Rehnquist took you to his junior prom... and you were a senior.

Your mother's so old, Scalia cites to her.

Your mother's so old, insurance companies value her life estate at 5 cents.

Your mother's so fat she's always in diversity jurisdiction.

Your mother's so fat Prosser and Keaton have a section on her... Massachussetts has a doctrine about her.

Your mother's so fat Congress reorganized her under the Department of Homeland Security Act.

Your mother's so fat, the neighbors need an easement to go around her.

Fed. R. Civ. P. 19(e): Mandatory Joinders. Your mom.

You're so fat, Posner has 10 volumes describing you as an economic waste.

You're so stupid you have your own reasonable person standard.

You're so ugly, you're ALWAYS dismissed with prejudice.

You're so ugly, it's unconscionable.

You're so ugly, Judge Friendly has defined you.

You're so ugly, even Wigmore won't consider you.

When others look at you, it violates the 8th Amendment. When you look at yourself, it violates the 5th.

You're so ugly, it's against the Geneva Conventions to post your picture.

Not guilty by reason of YOU.

You're so abnormal I could patent you. Actually, Michael Jackson is infringing.